The odd thing about the therapy relationship…


Paying for therapy is an odd thing. Some struggle with the idea that therapists care only because we are paid to care. While it is true that paying for therapy is a necessary evil, it does not mean that the relationship we build or the care you receive is not genuine. We did not get into this profession to deceive people; to spend our lives pretending to care. I’m not that great of an actor! Another therapist stated it well…

Yes. I’m doing my job. But I’m not just doing my job. I’m doing something else as well. I’m forming a friendship, relationship, and connection with you. That’s real. That’s not something that I ‘have to do’ as part of my job, rather it’s something that often happens when two people sit together and go through such intense experiences together with trust and openness.

A parent can have many children. I don’t think it makes any of them less special in their eyes. Sure, you’re one of many, and the connection I have with you is deeply unique and special. It’s something I have with no one else.

I’m a person. I have genuinely connected with you. The payment is there so that we can have a one way relationship (where it’s all about you) without it collapsing. Without payment I would need you to take care of me at times. And that wouldn’t be very helpful to you. And so when you tell me how you feel about ‘us’, it’s incredibly meaningful to me.

I like being a therapist, but I like buying groceries too 😉 Hope that helps!

Cheers!

Jake